From: Margaret McClintock Snyder <esnyder@leland.stanford.edu>

 GUIDING LIGHT TOO BAD IT'S MONDAY
 (OR TUESDAY) UPDATE FOR 3/17/97 
               0R
 MEMORIES OF H.B. DAY IN SF USA

TBIMOT HIGH (OR LOW) LIGHTS:
JEFFREY and BUZZ duke it out over
  who's the daddy to BABY HENRY
JOSH finds out that H.B. is ailing
  and takes flight with BILLY 
REVA sees DUTTON in unexpected places
PSYCHOANNIE uses H.B. to advance her
  sick CAMEO SCAM
PODCHELLE takes a walk on the wild side

FIREHOUSE :
Jeffrey is holding Coop and murmuring sweet nothings to 
his boy. Jenna protests that he was supposed to give her 
a week, and it's only been 12 hours. Jeff says he wants to
step things up, and take his wife and son home. Buzz explodes 
that Coop is his son. He stays and what Jen does is up to her.
Jeff tells Buzz to shut up, and they face off.

LOWHAD :
Josh has returned and is asking Annie what is wrong with H.B. 
Annie (wearing the cameo on her yellow shirt) tells him to sit 
down. She starts babbling that she didn't want to tell him over 
the phone. Josh tells her to just spill. Annie says that Billy 
called... Enter Billy, who tells Josh that H.B. has had a heart 
attack. It is serious--they don't think H.B. is going to make it.
Billy bear hugs Josh.

CHICAGO CEMETERY :
Reva is asking Charity Doyle about why this was Danni's favorite 
place. Charity says that she liked to return to the foster family 
that made her feel loved for one year. Danni used to sit at a 
certain stone and dream of having her own family. Reva sees the 
name Dutton on the stone in question.  "Dutton? Her foster family's 
name was Dutton?" [Don't worry Reva, PsychoAnnie's name is Mutton. 
Why isn't Pop here to help Reva through this difficult time? Surely,
Rev should have filled him in on the secret by now].

INSTA-TWIRL
The lighthouse goes by so fast you can barely see it. 

BACK TO THE 0 :
Reva is muttering about how weird this is. She knows someone in SF 
with the name Dutton. It must be a coincidence. This person was 
raised by her Grandmother, but what part of the country is unknown 
to Rev [but we remember Josh following Annie to her Grandmother's. 
She had a guest house or motel right outside of SF]. Reva babbles on 
about how Dutton is a common name like Smith or Jones, and it doesn't 
mean anything...it can't.

This portion of Guiding Light is brought to you by Folgers.
The best part of wakin' up...

H.B.'S GOING TO BE OK :
Annie comforts Josh, and he wants her to pray that they won't
lose him. Billy thinks it is going to take a miracle this time.
They fill Annie in on H.B.'s prior heart attack in the 80's.
Billy fills Josh in. H.B. is spending the winter in the south
of France. He had just gotten back from a late night poker game
when he had an attack. He called the ambulance himself, and when
he got to the hospital went into cardiac arrest. They got his
heart going again, but it is touch and go. H.B. is alert, but
he is too weak to speak. Mindy and Trish were on a shopping
expedition in Paris, and are also coming to H.B.'s bedside.
Billy has had Wanda fuel up the Lewis jet. Josh tells Annie
he is sorry to run out on her, but she tells him she loves
H.B. since he is the one who told Josh to marry her. [One
of the only mistakes H.B. ever made in my book]. Josh doesn't
want the kids to be informed. Annie thinks when the family
gets there, H.B. will be back to his old spunky self. Annie
has a bag ready for Josh, who asks her to call Reva and fill
her in. He gives her a peck on the cheek as he exits with
Billy. PsychoAnnie prays, "Oh, Lord, don't let Josh lose his
father or me."

COMPANY :
It is all decked out for St. Paddy's day with shamrocks and
Irish music. J goes behind the bar for a soda, and Nola wants
to collect 75 cents. She complains that he was out late last
night, and didn't call. J explains that he went to Chelle's
and afterwards went driving since he had lots on his mind.
Nola thinks it's good that Meta was there to keep things under
control, and J neglects to correct her. Chelle enters and 
says hi to J. He pointedly walks off.

FIRE STORM AT THE FIREHOUSE :
Jenna tries to break the fighters up. She takes Coop upstairs
to read him a bedtime story. [This is confusing, since he 
was just having gruel for breakfast a few scenes ago]. She
tells them she doesn't want to hear any upraised voices. Jeff
hangs his head at this, but Buzz is too busy staring at Jeffrey
to pay her any mind. Jeff observes that Jenna has filled Buzz
in on Coop's paternity. Buzz says that the boy is his not
Jeffrey's. Jeff (holding a bright yellow stuffed animal) asks
if that is all Jenna told him. Buzz doesn't want to play his
game any more. Jeff messes with his coat, and picks up Buzz
the Bunny. Buzz (the man not the bunny) says all he cares about 
is his boy. Jeff says he cares about him too. Why is Buzz insisting 
on making him the villain? He isn't the one who lied all these 
years. He empathizes with Buzz who is proud he has a son and upset 
that Jenna betrayed him. Buzz isn't buying the "dimestore philosophy." 
He grabs the bunny, saying that Jeffrey has lost out. Jeff points out
that he is listed as the father on the birth certificate. He
fills Buzz in on Jenna's plight when he met her, even explaining
what happened to the millions Alan gave her for the lotion biz.
He insists that the boy loves him, not Buzz. Buzz thinks that
could change with time. Buzz tells him that "you took care of
the boy for a year and a half ... your days as Ward Cleaver
are over. The part is being recast." Jeff accuses him of 
using the boy to hang onto Jenna. Buzz laughs that Jeffrey is
doing that. Jeffrey tells Buzz his version of why Jenna left
two years ago--she didn't think Buzz was ready to make a commitment.
Buzz declares that he loved her then, he still does--he loved her
from the get-go. Jeff tells Buzz the sad story of how Jenna had
to turn to thievery to feed the baby. He declares that he isn't
going to let Buzz mess Jenna up again. Buzz is dubious about
Jenna's intentions, but Jeffrey insists that Jenna came to
the hotel yesterday to tell him that she still loves him.

I DON'T WANT CHARITY :
Reva tries to give Charity money but she refuses. She didn't
do it for a reward. She thinks that Reva has the same look in
her eyes that Danni used to get when her cage was rattled.
[Have you noticed that these "friends of Danni" look a little
too prosperous and healthy to be street waifs and grand theft
auto desperados?] 

HALFTIME

BACK TO THE CEMETERY :
Reva says it is just the situation of not knowing what became
of Danni. Charity says she thinks Reva will find her. Sometimes
she gets hunches and she is sure that Danni is part of Rev's 
fate. [Yeah right, how much is Alan paying this charitable
young lady?] Reva's cell phone rings. It is Annie telling
her about H.B.'s heart attack. "Harlan. No," cries Reva.
Annie murmurs insincere things about how sorry she is. Rev
says that she loves the "old man." He has been part of her
life since she was a little girl. Annie tells her that 
things don't look good, and Josh thought she might like to
return just in case. Reva says she will be there as soon as
possible. She leaves the cemetery with Charity. Back at 
Lowhad, Annie picks up a yellow sweater, and gets the psycho
look on her face big time.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG :
J is talking to a fellow student about the photography class.
The Dumb Guy (DG) doesn't want to bother with f stops; his
camera does it all automatically. He gives J a news flash:
nude models are scheduled for class today. Nola appears to
take the order, exclaiming that she knew J dropped anthro
just to look at naked girls. J defends himself: he wants to
learn photography, not be a peeping tom. DG says the prof just
sprung it on them. Nola retorts that she hopes nothing else
gets sprung. DG thinks that J's mom is a trip. He teases J
about being afraid to see naked girls. 
Chelle is at the bar. She doesn't want anything, and Nola 
wonders if she had too much junk food at the party. She chides
her about the party going too late. She seats Chelle at a
table near J where she will be more comfie, and goes off to
get her decaf tea. 
KPIX treats me to dead air for a second. We are joined in
progress, and J and the DG are leaving. J tells DG he has
about as much pride as a tripod. DG sees the nude model girl
enter, and tries to follow her, but J pulls him out the door.
The nude model girl (oh, her name is Wendy) sits with Chelle.
She quizzes her about Brad, and her college applications. 
Chelle thinks her best chance is at SFU (oh, what a comedown
from brainy Rachel Miner). Wendy goes into raptures about the
freedom of college. She gets up to study for a chem test, but
Chelle points out that the ditz has messed up her study plans:
the test is today not tomorrow. Wendy asks Chelle to fill in
for her as a nude model--it pays 30 bucks an hour, and you
meet a lot of guys.

SHE LOVES YOU YEAH, YEAH, YEAH :
Buzz hands Jeffrey his coat, asserting that Jenna no longer loves
him. Jeff says his wife is committed, that's why she came to the
hotel with his son. The Jenna Buzz knew is gone forever; she is
now a wife and mother. Buzz thinks this doesn't track with what
Jenna has told him. Jeff wonders if Jenna has told him about 
Copenhagen. It must have slipped her mind, says Buzz. Jeffrey
rapsodizes about their first time--they fell in love, and they
are still in love. Buzz thinks that Jeff may love Jenna, but
it is one way. Jeff says that Jenna doesn't lie to him. Buzz
is the one that she has trouble telling the truth to.

PSYCHOANNIE HAS HER MIND ON CAMEOS NOT OUR DEAR H.B. :
The Psycho is pinning the cameo onto her sweater. "All right,
Sarah. Do the trick." Reva enters, and Annie tells her there 
is no word on H.B. yet. Annie tries to comfort her with nurse
babble. Reva declares that if anyone deserves a miracle it is
Harlan. He is one of the kindest, sweetest men ever put on this
earth. Rev can't even think about him without smiling at something
he's said or done. Reva relates the story of when H.B. brought
a load of broccoli to Jeva from his garden. She was outside when
he came up the driveway. He turned that into a horn-blowing,
motor-revving 10 second joyride. He nearly crashed into the 
garage. He slammed on the brakes, rolled out the door, and
declared with his hearty naughty laugh, "After a trip like
that, I need a drink." Annie says she is sorry, and tells her
that she thinks Billy and Josh helped each other thru the news.
All of the Lewises are on their way to Provence to be with him.
Reva says, "The old coot always did love an audience. I always
told him that he should have been an actor or a canned ham."
H.B. used to do outsized double takes, and hug her like nobody's
business; she never felt so safe as when she was in his arms.
Reva flashes back to H.B. arriving for the Jeva wedding, and
giving Reva his blessing. Reva prays that the Lord bless H.B.
and let him know we all love him. Amen to that, says Annie.
Annie then manufactures a situation which allows her to don the
yellow sweater with the cameo. Reva stares at it. PsychoAnnie
asks, "Reva, is something wrong?" [How low can this woman go?
Has she no decency at all?]

LEWIS JET :
Josh tells Billy that he is not ready to lose H.B. Billy says
that he knows Miss Martha and Miss Sally are chomping at the
bit to have him join them, but they will have to wait. 
Flashback to a younger Billy talking to H.B. 
"I'm just thinking what a life I've had these last 3 score years
...The good Lord is looking out for your old sinful Daddy. I only 
hope he will go on watching over all of you." Billy protests that 
H.B. can't die. H.B. replies, "Everyone has to die, son, even me. 
I love you, son." 
There is a scene of the three men returning from a fishing trip.
Then there is a Josh flashback to the Carousel at Lowhad. This was
the last appearance of Larry Gates, and he looks very gaunt.
H.B.: "I love you, son. From the moment you took your
first breath until the day I take my last, I'll love ya."
Josh: "I love you, and so does Billy, Trish, Marah and Shayne.
We all love you. No one could have done a better job than you did."
H.B.: "No one had a finer son."
Josh: "I miss having you around. Can't you stay?"
H.B.: "Times running out for this old wildcat. I have places to
go, things to do, but where ever I am in this world or the next,
you'll always be in my heart."
They hug and chuckle. Josh tells H.B. he'll always be in his heart.
H.B.: "It's ok. Life goes around like this little old carousel.
Sometimes you get the brass ring. I got it when I had Miss Martha,
and you had it when you had Reva. God willing, you'll have it
again."
Josh: "I really do love you very much."
H.B.: "Love yourself and love the good Lord and love this life he's 
given you. Cherish every damn minute of it and everything will take
care of itself."
[By now your updater is crying so hard, I'm going to have to do
a lot of rewinding to get all this down].
Cut back to the guys on the jet. Josh declares that they can't
let Daddy die. They've got to reach out to him and not let him go.
Billy says that is exactly what they are going to do.

PHOTO CLASS :
The DG is saying this is a dirty job but somebody has to do it.
J tells the DG (oh, his name is Rodney) that he is glad he is
not him. [There sure is a lot of phallic symbolism going on
today]. The Prof comes in and gives a lecture on f stops, etc.
He tells them to check their equipment while he goes to get the
nude model. After an ad, Chelle turns around on the pedestal,
and J sees that it is her.

FIREHOUSE :
Jenna comes down, and announces that Coop has zonked before they
saved Peter Rabbit from Mr. MacGregor. Buzz says that he thinks
the good farmer should have been sued for harassment; Jeffrey
thinks he was protecting what was his. Jenna feels like she
has fallen thru the looking glass; there is obvious subtext
here that she is not getting. Jeffrey takes his leave, saying
that Buzz has many questions for Jenna. He kisses her, and she
turns her cheek so he misses. Jenna asks Buzz what has gone on
between the two of them. Buzz wants the truth; is she in love
with Jeffrey?

LOWHAD :
Annie: "What's wrong, Reva? You look like you've seen a ghost."
Reva stutters that it is the cameo. She has never seen Annie
wear it. Did she just buy it? Annie says she has had it forever.
She doesn't wear it often; the clasp is tricky. She just found
it that morning at the bottom of her jewelry box. She taunts
Reva, asking her if she doesn't think it's pretty. Reva whispers
that it is. She asks Reva if she wants tea, but Rev begs off 
saying she has to go shopping before the kids come over later.
She asks Annie to call as soon as Josh reports anything about 
H.B. Annie tells Reva to get some rest; she looks shaky. 
PsychoAnnie smirks and laughs as soon as Reva is out the door.
Rev is on the other side saying, "It can't be. Annie can't be
my sister."

THE END

CREDITS
Lingerie provided by Fernando Sanchez
Director: John M. O'Connell
Writers still: Miller, Conforti
     *
    /|\
   /-O-\           Margaret Snyder
  /\ | /\          Hoover Institution
 o=======o         Stanford University
  | G L |          Palo Alto, CA
  | u i |          (Hometown of Charles Jay Hammer,
  | i g |           a.k.a Fletcher Reade)
  | d h |
  | i t |          email:msnyder@leland.stanford.edu
  | n   |
  | g   |



