From: Marni Centor <marni@panix.com>

GUIDING LIGHT UPDATE -- THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20, 1997

                  CAN THIS RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?

Directed by Brian Mertes

NOTE: This is the first episode credited to the new headwriters, Barbara 
Esensten and James Harmon Brown. Intense!

Place Your Bets:
* Ross tells Blake it's over forever & sounds like he means it.
* Rick tells Abby about Kevin & she runs from him in horror & disgust.
* Fletch finds out Holly kept the secret from him, but forgives her.
* Amanda tries her best to comfort Roger, but Holly does a better job.
* J takes Michelle on a friendly tour of the Web.

Late at night in Springfield, USA...

CEDARS: Blake, recently returned to consciousness, realizes that Ross 
knows the truth about Kevin's paternity. "Oh my god," she cries weakly. 
Ross looks at her stonily.

COUNTRY CLUB: Abby is happy to see Rick, even though the party's over. 
She can see that he's miserable. Rick says she doesn't know what she's 
getting into. Abby totally understands Rick's obligations as a trauma 
doctor, and she accepts that. Rick thinks her feelings may change after 
she hears what he has to say. She asks why he's so upset. He say he 
loves her so much & never meant to hurt her. Abby still thinks he's 
talking about missing the party. She would love to spend the rest of the 
night alone with him, as the perfect ending to the perfect day. She hugs 
him happily. Rick is miserable.

CEDARS: Roger sees through the window that Blake is awake, & rushes into 
her room in relief. Holly, Fletch & Amanda are right behind him. Rog 
wants to know how she's feeling. Holly looks at her with concern. Blake 
asks for an update on the boys' condition & Holly fills her in. Amanda 
thinks Blake is lucky to be alive. Ross doesn't look like he agrees. 

Fletch asks Blake if she remembers what happened. She recalls driving 
through a green light at an intersection. Fletch asks where she was 
going. She seems confused. Holly thinks they should let her rest. Fletch 
wonders why she was headed away from the country club. Blake says she 
was on her way to Ross's office to catch him before he left. Fletch 
presses her further. Holly tells him to leave it alone. Blake doesn't 
care. She wants Ross to know. She had something very important to tell 
him, that she should have told him months ago.

COUNTRY CLUB: Rick says something happened at the hospital that Abby 
needs to know about. The country club manager interrupts & Rick yells at 
him to get out. Abby asks why Rick's so upset. Did someone die?

BAUER HOUSE: Michelle sits at the kitchen table in a pair of blue 
pajamas, working on a laptop. J peers through the window at her, then 
knocks. Michelle answers the door & asks why he's there. He brought some 
cake from the party & suggests sharing it over coffee. Michelle protests 
that it's late, but finally invites him in. She gets to work on the 
coffee while he gets the plates. He notices the laptop & asks if she was 
doing schoolwork. She explains that she was e-mailing Ed to tell him 
about the engagement party. She knows it killed him to miss it. 

J sits down at the laptop & asks if she surfs the net much. Not much, 
she says. He offers to show her a few things after she finishes her e-
mail. She signs the message "mimi," which she explains is her "on-line 
name" & Ed's nickname for her when she was little. J shows her something 
cool on the computer & she's impressed. He says when he likes something, 
he keeps plugging away at it.

COUNTRY CLUB: Rick & Abby sit down, & he takes her hand. He'd give 
anything to not have to tell her, but she needs to know the truth. Abby 
is scared. Rick explains that Blake & the twins were in a car accident. 
He assures her that they're all doing OK now. "Ross must be beside 
himself," says Abby. Rick allows that Ross is very upset. He says the 
accident has changed things in a very big way. Because there was no 
other surgeon available, he had to operate on Kevin. Abby thinks this is 
the reason he's so upset & it must have been very hard for him. Not as 
hard as what he has to tell her. Abby thinks that Rick should be proud 
that he saved Kevin's life. 

"I should be a lot of things, but I'm not. My sweet Abby, I am not the 
man your father was. I broke the rules tonight when I operated on Kevin. 
I broke the rules another night too & now I have to pay the price." He 
accepts this, but knowing he's going to hurt her is killing him. He 
takes her face in his hands & caresses it helplessly as he starts to 
cry, saying he has no one to blame but himself. This upsets her, of 
course, & she asks what he did. "Doctors aren't supposed to operate on 
their patients," cries Rick, flubbing his line. Without missing a beat, 
Abby says Rick must be confused because he's so tired. Kevin is his 
godson. Rick says he's more than Kevin's godfather. "I'm his real 
father. Kevin's my son."

CEDARS: Holly says she's there for Blake & will stay as long as needed. 
Roger seconds this. Ross walks away from the bed & over toward Amanda. 
Blake says she really needs to be alone with Ross. Holly assures her 
everything will be all right. Fletch says good-bye & tells Blake they'll 
take Jason home with them. Ross says no; he'll take care of his son. Rog 
kisses Blake & tells her he'll be at the Regency if she needs anything. 
Amanda offers her good wishes too, & promises of the best care.

Ross & Blake are finally alone again. She says she was telling the truth 
about coming to tell him about Rick & Kevin. Ross stares out the window. 
Blake says she couldn't lie to him any longer & hated herself for doing 
it. Ross was so happy & she was so afraid of losing him. "The truth is, 
I still am." She begs him to look at her & tell her it's not too late. 

Ross moves from the window, but keeps his back to Blake as she keeps 
talking. She wants to explain what happened & says they need each other 
now more than ever. "I need the truth," says Ross. Blake says she was 
afraid to tell him she made a mistake. "You slept with another man, gave 
birth to his son, tried to pass him off as mine, & you call it a 
mistake? God almighty, who are you? Who the hell are you?!" 

Blake says it wasn't like she planned it. It was a one-time thing, not 
an affair. They were both drunk & she thought their marriage was over. 
"You make it sound as if it were my fault," replies Ross with disgust. 
Blake replies with equal repugnance that she had just seen him in 
Amanda's arms, kissing her at Ed's cabin. He says it was one kiss & went 
no further. Blake protests that she had no way of knowing that; all she 
knew was what she saw, "and what I saw broke my heart," she cries. "I 
was blinded by this image of you & Amanda together; I couldn't get it 
out of my head. Accuse me of being weak, but the idea of life without 
you was so empty & awful I couldn't face it & I couldn't stand myself, 
so I went out & got plastered. Running into Rick was pure coincidence." 
Ross says no part of this is pure. 

Blake continues her story. Rick was also upset, over Annie. He drove her 
home. They didn't plan on anything happening. "But it did," finishes 
Ross. "Yes," whispers Blake. Ross finally turns to face her. "But then 
you came back, & you said that you still loved me & we started over 
again. We made love in the shower. And the next thing I knew, I was 
pregnant." Ross still can't get over the thought of his wife & his best 
friend's son. Blake says she wanted to tell him, but... But what? asks 
Ross. "You thought I might be a little miffed?" Blake says she didn't 
want to hurt him. She wanted to protect him & the boys. She knows he's 
angry & he has every right to be after she lied to him for months. 

"You are truly your father's daughter," replies Ross coldly. 
"Genetically incapable of telling the truth. So amoral & self-absorbed 
that all you can think of is yourself & your well-being. This was more 
than being unfaithful. This was 9 months of breaking faith, & destroying 
everything that was good in us, in our marriage & in our children. 
"Noooo...." cries Blake. "The life we had is gone forever, and it was 
you who killed it completely, with your lies, your damnable lies." 

COUNTRY CLUB: Abby patiently explains to Rick that Kevin can't be his 
son, because Blake & Ross are his parents. Rick insists that he's 
Kevin's biological father. Abby protests that Jason & Kevin are twins. 
Rick says Jason is Ross's son, but Kevin is his. Abby says that's 
impossible. Rick starts to explain that it is medically possible, but 
Abby angrily interrupts: "I'm not talking medically; I'm talking about 
Blake & Ross. They are married. Married people don't do that!" Rick says 
they're not supposed to, but... Abby insists that Blake & Ross love each 
other. Rick says it was one awful night when Blake thought she had lost 
Ross to Amanda. They both got drunk & they were both alone & hurting. 
They ended up together.

Abby demands to know why Rick is telling her all these things that 
aren't true. Rick doggedly continues that Ross came home the next 
morning & made up with Blake, & conceived Jason. Abby runs from Rick, 
not wanting to know what he's telling her & yelling that it's 
disgusting. Rick chases after her. He knows it's disgusting, but it's 
true. Abby looks at him in horror. "Oh my lord. This is what Amanda was 
trying to tell me." She remembers that Amanda tried to tell her about 
it, but Abby wouldn't believe her because she didn't think Rick would do 
such a thing. 

Rick says he couldn't live with himself if he didn't tell her the truth. 
He reaches out to her, but Abby yells at him not to touch her, and slaps 
him in the face. She takes several deep breaths.

BAUER HOUSE: Michelle watches while J surfs the web. She wants him to 
stop at the Grateful Dead homepage. "Don't tell me you're a Deadhead," 
he says. "No, but I think my dad was," replies Michelle. J finds this 
difficult to believe. Michelle found a poster of Jerry Garcia in the 
attic once & Ed told her it came with the house. She didn't believe him. 
J likes the idea of Dr. Ed Bauer "stone cold busted." Just like when he 
found them in that motel room together... Michelle looks embarrassed & J 
apologizes. She says it's OK. J says it was wrong of him for trying to 
get over on her & he's also sorry it's taken him so long to apologize. 
Michelle says it's really OK. She forgave him a long time ago.

REVABEND: Holly & Fletcher arrive home. Meg & Barbara are both asleep. 
Fletch wants to know what was going on at the hospital. Holly wants a 
drink. Fletch asks her not to shut him out. He wants to know what's 
going on with Blake. Maybe he can help. Holly says Blake & Ross have to 
sort it out for themselves, if there's any sorting to be done. It sounds 
to Fletch like their marriage is on the line. Holly doesn't answer.

Holly says Blake loves Ross so much & never meant to hurt him. She 
thought he had left her for Amanda. Fletch says that was almost a year 
ago. Yes, says Holly. The same time the twins were conceived. "Ross is 
blaming Blake for Kevin's injuries?" asks the ace reporter. "Ross is 
blaming Blake for trying to pass off Kevin as Ross's son," replies 
Holly. Fletch still doesn't get it, so Holly spells it out in big, giant 
letters: Ross isn't Kevin's father. Rick is. Fletch asks how that could 
be. Holly explains the gory details, which we've already heard at least 
twice today. 

Fletch protests that Kevin & Jason are identical twins. [Wow, I think he 
must have absconded with Ross's supply of stupid pills!] Holly says 
they're not quite identical. Blake was the mystery patient at Cedars who 
got pregnant by 2 different men. Fletch remembers that he wanted to 
write a story about that woman. Holly says now he knows why she wouldn't 
let him. Fletch is appalled that Holly didn't tell him. She says she 
didn't lie; she just didn't tell him what she knew. Fletch wishes she 
had, just like he wishes she had told him about Griffin & Vivian. [Seems 
to me, if you want to confide a secret in Springfield & have it stay 
that way, Holly is your woman.] Holly says it's not the same at all. 
Fletch is angry that Holly keeps on keeping things from him. What if the 
shoe were on the other foot? Would she want him to keep things from her? 
She admits she wouldn't want that & asks if he forgives her. He does.

REGENCY: Rog & Amanda come "home" to Roger's suite. She offers to fix 
him a drink. He sits down heavily. Amanda joins him with the drinks. She 
suggests music, or a late movie on TV. Rog isn't interested in 
diversions. Amanda says it looks like everything will be fine now. Rog 
isn't so sure. Amanda says Blake is strong & she always bounces back. 
Rog says you always worry about your children. Amanda guesses he's 
right, but it's hard for her to imagine, since she's never had kids. 
[Did I imagine her little wince? Could she possibly be recalling her 
long-ago miscarriage that sent her into such a deep depression? Or is 
that just wishful thinking on my part?]

Amanda mentions that she arranged a business meeting over drinks for the 
next night. Rog doesn't want to talk about business. Amanda is surprised 
that Rog isn't the kind of guy to put personal stuff aside when it came 
time to discuss "the bottom line." Rog tells her that his family IS the 
bottom line. "If you don't know that, you don't know me."

CEDARS: Blake begs Ross to say it's not over between them. They have to 
try hard, for the sake of the boys. Ross says there is no "we." It ended 
the night she made love to Rick. She says they didn't make *love*--it 
was a drunken mistake that she's ashamed of. She insists that she loves 
Ross. "Meaningless as your wedding vows," replies Ross. "I thought that 
our marriage was over!" protests Blake. "And now it is," counters Ross. 
Blake can't believe he means this. She cries. Ross says, unlike her, he 
doesn't lie. Blake says he has every reason to be angry & hurt; she just 
prays that he will come to understand what was going on inside her head 
that night. She prays that he will forgive her. 

"You don't understand," says Ross. "I loved you. I loved our life 
together. Every day with you was heaven because you made me proud & 
happy. And just when I thought that things couldn't get any better, you 
told me you were pregnant, not with one child, but twins. Twin sons. You 
have no idea what that meant to me. And my fondest dream came true the 
night you gave birth to Jason & Kevin. The pain of childbirth, which you 
endured so bravely, just made me love you all the more. But in my 
darkest nightmare I never imagined that the man delivering those 2 
babies was the father of one them. I still can't fathom it. Why is it 
happening to me? What have I ever done to deserve such utter & complete 
treachery? Betrayal beyond all understanding, & certainly beyond all 
forgiveness." Blake cries incoherently.

Ross thought Blake had changed, but she hasn't. She's still the woman 
who slept her way through the Spauldings, and then started in on him 
"for the sole reason of avenging your mother." Blake takes offense. He 
knows she changed when she fell in love with him. She still loves him 
more than anyone or anything in the world. Ross doesn't believe this & 
heads for the door. Blake reminds him of his promise to love her no 
matter what. "Please tell me that you meant that. Please tell me that 
you will forgive me & we will still be a family." Ross turns to look at 
her.

COUNTRY CLUB: Rick says Abby has every right to be angry. He's angry at 
himself for not telling her sooner. But he did try, many times. Abby 
doesn't want to hear anymore. Rick yells that it all happened before he 
fell in love with her. Doesn't she understand? Abby says it makes no 
difference. Rick begs her to give him another chance. Abby prays for 
guidance. Abby tells Rick to shut up. She trusted him to be a decent & 
honorable man. It makes no difference that it happened before they fell 
in love. He did a shameful thing & betrayed her by lying about it. "You 
were right. You are not the man I thought you were!" 

Rick is devastated. He loves her. She doesn't want to hear it. He's 
disgraceful & she doesn't want his love. She runs out of the room. 
"Abby, don't leave me!" yells Rick at her back. He cries into his hands.

CEDARS: Blake struggles out of bed & nearly falls to the floor. Ross 
catches her & helps her back into bed. She thanks him. He says Kevin 
needs Blake to take care of him. "Don't get up again," he warns her. "I 
won't be here to catch you." Blake says he can't leave her. She knows 
they can get past it. She begs him not to walk out on her, but he 
leaves. She cries out in agony, audible beyond her closed door into the 
hall. Ross hesitates a couple of times, but keeps going.

BAUER KITCHEN: Michelle finds a radical feminist page she likes & asks J 
to show her how to get back to it. Rather than simply bookmarking the 
page, he takes her back to the "main menu" & walks her through the 
links. She's thrilled to see how easy it is. He offers to help her 
anytime. She thanks him, and he says he has to get going home. She walks 
him to the door & tells him to get home safely. After she shuts the door 
behind him, he smiles happily to himself. Michelle goes back to the 
computer thoughtfully.

REVABEND: Fletch says things are not as hopeless for Blake & Ross as 
Holly may think. Holly thinks Ross may have been even angrier after 
finding out that Blake told her before telling him. Fletch says they 
might still be able to patch things up because they love each other & 
their kids "and real guys don't just walk away from things like that, 
especially real guys like Ross." Holly would agree with him ordinarily, 
but she knows he feels utterly, completely betrayed. And sometimes love 
just isn't enough. Fletch suggests they cross their fingers. "And pray," 
adds Holly. Fletch gives her a kiss & heads into the other room.

REGENCY: Amanda can see that Rog would rather be alone. She asks if 
there's anything she can do for him before she leaves. He says no, so 
she recommends that he try to get some sleep. She sees herself out, 
because it's obvious that Rog isn't up to the niceties.

Alone, Rog picks up the phone & calls Holly. He says he can't stop 
thinking about Chrissy. He says he knows what it is -- Rick is the 
father of one of the boys. [Wow! Roger actually figured something out & 
they didn't beat us over the head with it?] Rick is Kevin's father, 
right? Holly says that's ridiculous. Rog says he's Chrissy's father & he 
has a right to know. Holly says there's nothing either one of them can 
do. Rog's suspicions are confirmed. He goes on to assume that Ross knows 
& that's why he was giving Blake the evil eye. Rog wants to go over to 
the hospital. Holly advises against it. She knows he wants to help & so 
does she, but right now it will only make things worse. Rog decides 
she's right. Holly says Chrissy will need them both now more than ever. 
"She can count on me, no matter what," says Rog. "You can too." Holly 
hangs up. Rog clicks off his phone & wanders over to the French doors. 
He stares out at the city lights.

REVABEND: Holly turns out the lights & stares out her window. 

CEDARS: Blake hugs her pillow in desperation & misery.

COUNTRY CLUB: Rick falls to his kneel on the floor. He spies Abby's 
hairclip there & clasps it to his chest as he collapses completely, 
wracked with hideous sobs. 

CEDARS: Abby stares through a window at Jason. Ross comes in & picks up 
his son, whispering gently to him. Abby backs away from the window & 
cries as the screen fades to black.

--Marni (marni@panix.com)



