From: Margaret McClintock Snyder <esnyder@leland.Stanford.EDU>

 GUIDING LIGHT TOO BAD IT'S MONDAY
 (OR TUESDAY) UPDATE FOR 2/3/97  
               0R
 TO CATCH A THIEF NIGHT IN SF USA   

TBIMOT HIGH (OR LOW) LIGHTS:
ANNIEREXIC plays Nancy Drew
CHASS and VIVIAN get a visit from
  JENNA and JEFFREY
IMPOSTERHART puts out the EUROTRASH
LAME calls a summit with delightful
  dividends for MANDY
JOSH drools over REVA while BUZZ fumes
ROG has a chat with MEGPIE that brings
  HOLLY closer

LATE EVENING IN SPRINGFIELD USA

DODGER AT HIS DESK :
Roger is looking at documents while sitting
at his desk (I presume at Spaulding Enterprises).
He dreams of his encounter with Holly at the
Lighthouse.

SPAULDING MANSION :
Annierexic barges in on Alan and spills about
finding out about Ross's mission to find Reva's
sister. Alan has found out where Reva went looking
and who accompanied her.

MOD-REVABEND :
Beva approaches the house and Rev is lamenting their
lack of success at the Dwight house. Buzz thinks it
wasn't a total loss. "Ok, Mr. glass-half-full, how can
you say that?" queries the Zimster. Buzz thinks that
the fact that she wouldn't tell them anything told them
plenty. Buzz is willing to bet the diner on the fact 
that Mrs. Dwight will be more forthcoming in the future.
Rev praises Buzz as the most wonderful guy who ever lived.
Buzz cheers her up with a series of one liners. He bets
she says that to all her exes; apologizes for the bad joke.
Rev says she's told a few herself. Buzz thinks she probably
even married a few. He tries to leave but Rev persuades
him to come in for a cuppa. When they enter, they find Josh
in his shirtsleeves, making himself at home.

GRANT ABODE :
Greg and Jenna carrying flashlights (special effects a la
Xfiles) are outside. Jenna is disarming the alarm system.
Jeff is speculating on the value of Viv's jewel collection.
Jenna is reluctant, and tells Jeff it is her last job. She
is all in black, including a black hood.

TWIRL LIGHTHOUSE
When are they going to get rid of that awful rendition and go
back to the original theme music? I thought it was going to
happen for the 60th, but we're still waiting. How hard can
it be?

SPAULDING STUDY :
The study now has a prominent bust of Brandon (which I don't 
remember seeing before). Alan tells Annie that he figured
with her questions about attorneys and files, she wanted to
know about Ross and Reva. He put people on it, and traced them
to Priscilla Dwight, 1751 Mechanic St., Elm Park. Annie wants
to know who went with Reva. He assures her it wasn't Josh;
it was Buzz. They pay lip service to being sorry for the poor
guy. Alan gives her the info on a slip of paper. PsychoAnnie
leaves with an excuse about the kids, saying she will see
Alan for morning PT [Isn't Annierexic a little too frail to
being hauling Alanspaulding around? I thought PT therapists
had to be pretty strong. Of course, she is hauling Fran and
Blake around all the time]. 

BEDTIME FOR CHASS AND VIV :
Viv (in a black, pink and chartreuse silk robe, her hair looking
less Tina Turnerish) tries to get Chass to come to bed. Charles
(looking fetching in a royal blue robe) is reluctant. He has
had trouble sleeping lately. Viv says that she thought they were
doing much better lately. Charles says they were, but it isn't
easy for him. Viv tries to apologize for Griff. Charles shushes
her and says he isn't ready to give up on them yet. Viv claims
she loves Chass more than she ever thought possible. They 
smooch. They leave for bed, and turn off the downstairs light.
Outside Jenna is still working on the alarm. Jeff is gloating
over the crummy alarm system.

REGENCY : EUROTRASH ROOM :
Jean Luc is brooding. Claudine wonders why; his plan was a
hit. Edith Piaf is on the CD. Giorgio is whining about his
bruised hand. There is a knock. Your cue, Hart. JL answers.
Hart enters with a bandaid on his chin.

SPAULDING SUMMIT :
Mandy is on the phone unsuccessfully trying to reach Rog; 
she wants him there ASAP cause something wonderful is in the
works. Al wheels thru the door, with Alex right behind. She
announces that Phillip is on his way. Alan muses on the
great successes of the day, and speculates that AM is coming
to announce he has decided to accept the European office. With
AM in Europe, Phil as Pres and Alex as his right hand, everything
is just about perfect. Mandy pouts that as usual she is not
mentioned. Alex tells her to stop her bellyaching. They bicker,
and Phil enters commenting on the "melodious strains of family
harmony." Phil wants to know why he was summoned so late. Alex
tells him AM and Lucy have called the pow-wow. AM enters (looking
somewhat better than usual in RH's wirerims). He announces that
they have decided what to do with his voting proxy. 

WHO AM I, WHAT AM I DOING HERE ? :
Rog crumbles up his documents. He flashes back to more Holly
scenes. "What am I doing?" he mutters. He walks off.

THIEVES I CAN HANDLE :
Reva wants to know why Josh is there and how he got in.
The spare key, he replies. Buzz notes that the spare is for
the kids. Josh thinks that one day a thief will find it and
clean Reva out. Rev mutters that she can handle thieves.
Buzz tries to go, but Rev starts getting coffee, while asking
Josh why he is there. Josh says he has a few questions of his
own. He wants to know if Buzz is still living there. Buzz
says he isn't and finally escapes, telling Rev he hopes she
finds what she is looking for. Rev is steamed. This is just
perfect; Josh is kicking the poor guy out of what used to be
his living room. He wants to know what Rev was thanking Buzz
for, but she tells him it is none of his business. [Why the
great secrecy about Sarah's child? If she can tell Buzz and
Billy, why not Josh?]

HALFTIME

JEVA CONVO PART TWO :
Josh tells Reva that he wanted to discuss his convo with Ross.
Reva gets all worried about what they talked about, and is
glad to find out it was a trust fund for Annie and the child
so they will be provided for after the Jeva reunion. Big 
swell of the Jeva theme. "Oh Joshua", says Reva. They dance
around whether they both still want to be together, and
Reva assures him she wants it, but doesn't want the sneaking
around. Josh says he just wants them to be together one day.
As long as he believes that Rev wants that, he can handle
anything. Reva says she wants it too, giving him a brave smile.
They hug big time.

DWIGHT HOUSE :
Annie approaches. She looks at the paper Alan gave her and
gives herself a pep talk about doing whatever psycho thing she
is planning. She knocks persistantly. Priscilla comes to the
door and tries to get rid of her, but Annierexic pushes the
door open. Pris presumes that Rev has sicced Social Services
on her, and Annie is pleased to let her think so. Priscilla
denies all knowledge, and in her best "professional" manner,
Annie threatens her with being taken downtown. Pris caves in.
She moans that she always knew this day would come. Annie
gets all the way inside, and rolls her eyes at her success.

CAPICHE :
Hart gloats that this is just how he expected the Eurogang to
spend their time: room service and champagne. Hart taunts Giorgio
about his hurt hand. They spar, and Hart punches Giorgio. He
faces off with Jean Luc. He is sure that there are no gambling
debts. He wants to talk turkey, and the only one speaking will
be him, capiche? [Where did a farm boy learn such language?]

SILENCE OF THE LAMES :
The brood gathers round as AM explains the power that goes 
along with his voting shares. Alex assumes that goes along with
the presidency. AM explains that LAME has been round and round
about what to do. They must decide how to leave. He gives his
standard speech on how happiness comes with love not power.
Alan apologizes for his mistakes with his boys. AM announces
he is giving the proxy to Amanda. She smirks. Alex drops her
glass, Alan sighs and Phil does an FlycatchingAnnie.

FIREHOUSE :
Buzz approaches, and remembers his first meeting with Jeffrey.
He enters, and finds Frankie drinking a cup of coffee. He wonders
why everyone thinks they can let themselves into other's homes.
Frank comments on his "good" mood. Buzz is sarcastic about being
offered a cup of his own coffee. Frank observes that Harley was
right. Buzz thinks she overreacts; but Frankie thinks she calls
them as she sees them. They talk about Jenna, and her leaving
town. Buzz thinks it is for the best. It is one less life for
him to screw up. Frankie isn't buying it. He thinks that Jenna
is still in Buzz's system. He may still be getting over Reva,
but Jenna is under his skin.

ONE LAST TIME :
Jeff and Jenna are inside looking for the Grant's safe. Jenna
finds it under an oil painting. Offstage, Viv's voice is heard.
She has forgotten her medicine, and Chass offers to get it.
He comes downstairs, while the J's cower. Jenna thinks that
was too close, but Jeff urges her to open the safe. She gets
it open, and starts putting jewels in a bag. She complains
that they have enough money, and she doesn't see why they need
this last job. Jeff says it is the last job  for a couple of
nights. Jenna protests, but Jeff says it was the only way he
could get her in there. Jenna has been acting shaky since they
got to SF, he wants to go back to their previous fun. Jenna
says it isn't fun anymore. She wants to put the jewels back.
If Jeff doesn't, then their marriage is kaput. Jeff protests.
Jenna says that it isn't as though they had a great love match.
Jeff wonders what about Coop, he loves the kid and the kid loves
him. Jen says she will arrange visitation. Jeff protests, but
Jenna says her mind is made up.

CARRIAGE HOUSE :
Rog is outside. He starts to knock, walks away and then comes
back. He knocks, and yells to Chrissie that he is sorry that he
didn't call. A babysitter comes to the door. They are out for
a big family dinner. We hear a baby fussing, and the babysitter
says she isn't sure which of the three babies have the best
set of lungs. Rog thinks it's two babies. The BS explains that
she is watching over the Marler and Reade offspring. Rog asks
if he can come in and leave a note for his daughter. When he
does, the BS goes upstairs to look after the boys. Rog starts
a note, but finds he doesn't know what to say. He starts to
leave, and notices Meg standing in her playpen. "Hi there,
Meg. I don't think we've ever really met. I said some pretty
lousy things about you before you were even born. I'm sorry
but I was angry. Life is so strange. You're Holly's baby and
I don't even know you." He picks her up. "You're different,
aren't you? I know what that's like. People make up their
minds about you before they even know you. You've got to
develop a tougher skin than other people. You've got to work
harder to prove yourself. Pretty rough going being an outcast,
not that you'll ever be looked at the way I am. Hey, let me
tell you something. [He kisses her head]. You have any problems
with anybody, I want you to come to me ok, cause I know how
to be tough when it's necessary. Oh, Meg, maybe if you have
me in your corner, you'll never have to get that way yourself
right?" He puts her down. Holly is in the doorway, and backs
out quietly. We don't know how much she has heard. "Don't
forget me. I sure won't forget you." Rog turns and sees Holly.
She comes in. Rog says he thought she was with Chrissie. Holly
has returned for Blake's scarf. Rog asks about her ankle, and
Hol says it's fine and thanks him. He starts to leave, and
Holly asks if he has a message for Chrissie. Rog says he will
catch up with her in a few days. Holly should see to Meg. 
He leaves. Holly looks thoughtful. 

WHAT AM I BID? :
Hart tells JL he will make him an offer he can't refuse. JL
says this is an insult. He can't be bought off. Hart offers 
a check for $50,000. JL says he still loves Dinah. Hart says
he will start a bidding war. He offers $250,000. JL should
just leave without saying bye. Claudine says Hart doesn't
understand JL's love. JL hushes her and seems interested.
Hart says if he doesn't take the deal he will blab about
the bidding, the lack of gambling debts, the black eye, etc.
JL says he has a deal. Hart says he can pick up the check
when he checks out.

COOPER MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS :
Buzz and Frankie continue their discussion about love. They
argue about who has more experience with the fairer sex.
Frank is beeped, but promises he will come back for another
round. Buzz moans that the kid is a royal pain.

WISHING AND HOPING :
Josh says he is jealous of Buzz. He wants to know what they
were talking about. Rev explains Buzz is helping her through
something, and that is all she will say. Rev wonders if the
trust means that Josh thinks Annie is going to be able to
handle the separation when the time comes. Josh admits
that Annie still has lots of problems [What an understatement!]
He still has to be careful of her. Rev says Annie needs him.
Josh tells her, "As much as she needs me, I need you."

DWIGHT HOUSE CONTINUED :
Annie coaxes and threatens Mrs. Dwight to tell about the baby
she adopted. Pris tells her that her husband Herb is 
responsible. He was a steamfitter who lost his job. After
18 months they were destitute. Herb sent the baby away.
After that there was a little money. Annie wonders if he
sold the baby. PD says the baby was gone, and she couldn't
bring herself to ask about the details. PsychoAnnie tells
PD that all she has to do is tell her where Sarah Shayne's
baby went.

SPARKS FLY AT THE SPAULDINGS :
General pandemoniom reigns. Phil quietly says that he knows
AM is trying to give Amanda another chance. AM says he figured
Phil would understand. He was appalled at the arrest of Mandy
on Xmas eve. It isn't easy to be the odd man or woman out. Alan
sternly reminds AM that Rogerthorpe is about to marry Mandy. Does
he know what that means? "I'm going to miss the wedding?" quips
AM. Mandy promises she won't let the Dodger take over. AM says
that he trusts Amanda; and Roger is their problem. He apologizes
to Phil, since he told Lizzie he'd watch out for him. Phil says
not to worry, things will be fine. LAME exits, with Mandy calling
out thanks. Al and Alex huddle. Alan says they've got to DO
something. Alex says that nobody knows that better than her.
She will have Nettie make tea. She wheels Alan out, telling 
him they'll think of something. Mandy reenters the study, and
tries to call Roger again. Rog is outside the Marlers mooning
over Hol. 

OUR LITTLE SECRET :
Annie is giving tea to Mrs. Dwight, who wants to know if she is
going to jail. Annie reassures her that it was her hubby that
made the mistake. [Is Herb dead or MIA?] It will be their little
secret.

I LOVE YOU TOO :
Rev tells Josh he has to go home and continue his LOWHAD charade.
Josh doesn't want to, but Reva says they have to keep to their
agreement. Josh says he will try. Reva says that she wants
"more than anything to be with you, to hold you, talk to you,
touch you but we can't, not now, not yet." Josh leaves telling 
Rev he loves her. The Jeva theme swells. "I love you too, Bud."

TO CATCH A THIEF :
Jeff urges Jenna to put the jewels in the bag. They can talk
in the hotel. Jenna says she won't steal anymore. Jeff decides
he is out of there. Jenna starts to put the stuff back. There
is a spotlight on Jenna, and offstage, a voice (Frankie?)
says, "Freeze, police." She does, so there is our first freezeframe
since MADD and PR took over.

ENDE

CREDITS 
Lingerie: Fernando Sanchez ; Outerwear: Andrew Mark
Writer: Loren Segan
Director: Jo Anne Sedwick
     *
    /|\
   /-O-\           Margaret Snyder
  /\ | /\          Hoover Institution
 o=======o         Stanford University
  | G L |          Palo Alto, CA
  | u i |          (Hometown of Charles Jay Hammer,
  | i g |           a.k.a Fletcher Reade)
  | d h |
  | i t |          email:msnyder@leland.stanford.edu
  | n   |
  | g   |




