From: Margaret McClintock Snyder <esnyder@leland.stanford.edu>

GUIDING LIGHT TOO BAD IT'S MONDAY
 (OR TUESDAY) UPDATE FOR 2/19/96
             OR                            
  President's Day in Dullsfield 

TBIMOT Highlights:
Since this is the joint celebration of the birthdays
of Honest Abe Lincoln and "I cannot tell a lie " Washington,
it is appropriate that the general theme running throughout 
this episode seemed to be "Truth or Consequences"

ROSS (or Howie or Podperson) kisses AMANDACONDA
JEVA trade truths at Cross Creek
RICK is a glutton for MUTTON
MATT (a.k.a. as Blake's knight in shining armor) spills the 
    beans about MADAMDACONDA

Let the SHOW begin

Bauer Cabin in the Woods:
Ross is tending the fire and decides to make a call. 
Cut to Blake at the Bloss Abode:
Blake starts babbling about how sorry she is, and Ross
interrupts to tell her he's at Ed's cabin.  Blake wants to tear
up there, but Ross "'vants to be alone." He wants to sort things
out. Blake thinks they can do it together, but Ross doesn't want
to see her tonight. He is more than mad, telling her "someone 
(a.k.a. Fifi) could have been killed because you don't trust me. 
In the past two weeks, I don't even know who you are."
Blake makes matters worse, asking, "Ross, are you alone?"                       
[Answer: Not for long!!]
Cut to the cabin window:
We see Amandaconda approach and peer inside.

Rick's garage apartment:
Rick is telling Hawk to scram, while Abigail looks on. Hawk tells 
Rick it's his big chance to get his Annie back.  Josh is with his 
heart and soul, Reva, and if Rick kicks him out he will be shutting 
the door on his heart and soul.

Annie's apartment:
We zero in on the answering machine. There is a terse message
from Josh about his trip to Cross Creek. Van is trying to cheer
Annie (who is still in those very, very tight white pants); if it
was important, Josh would have explained. Annie tries to buy
it--there is no way he can be with HER.

Cross Creek:
Reva is surprised to see Josh there, and resumes calling
for Harlan. Josh tells her that he wanted to see her alone
away from Annie and Alan. He thinks "we have to figure
a way to straighten this thing out .. just the two of us, 
you and me." Reva does a gaped mouth imitation of you-know-
who. Maybe she is just trying to make Joth feel at ease.

Twirl Lighthouse

Bauer Boy Pad:
Hawk claims he is feeling bad about Annie girl. When 
Rick  wonders "since when," he says it is "since I found
out how far she is gonna fall when she finds out Reva and
Josh are at Cross Creek."  Annie is gonna be "knocked 
off her pins, and somebody better be there to catch her."
Abigail wonders what's up. Rick gives her an abbreviated
version. Hawk tries to fill her in, but Rick tells him "stop
yelling Jethro." Hawk says he is going to blow his lungs 
out  yelling  until Rick believes him. Abby exits, and Hawk
clues Rick in on Josh's scheme to lure Reva to CC. Hawk
thinks he wants her there because it is where they fell
in love.

"I cannot tell a lie" Cross Creek:
Reva tells Josh he tricked her, and he happily agrees. 
Josh tells Reva he knows that she fights like a tiger 
when she is backed into a corner, but she isn't 
mean-spirited or hateful. 
Josh: " I want things the way they were."
Reva: "Would that be before my death or my
resurrection?" (LOL)
Josh wants his marriage back; the happy
Lewis bunch: Josh, Annie and the kids. 
Rev is pretty disgusted that he tricked her so
he could talk about what a great life he has 
with "the woman my children call mommy."[The lower
case is intentional here!!]
She thinks Josh is as controlling as ever--the
ends justify the means. Josh begins ranting
about what Rev did to the Mutton in court.
Reva denies knowing what her lawyer was 
going to do. She tells Josh he doesn't get 
to ambush her to get what he wants; it is
not like when they were ten and  he trapped her
in his Daddy's barn to steal a kiss. When 
you are grownup that is called bullying. She
wants to know why Cross Creek of all places.
Their past is everywhere--this is where they
first made love. Josh thinks she will tell (know)
the truth here.

Annie's Land of Angst:
Van gives Annie a pep talk about trusting Josh. 
Annie concedes that Reva will never give up
wanting to be near her children. Van points 
out that many couples deal with joint custody.
Annie: "I never faulted her for loving those 
kids. "
[This statement is so outrageous, I had to 
quote it. This is the woman who kept 
characterizing everything Reva did as 
cruel and heartless. Grrrr!!]
Van agrees with this incredible statement,
and tells Annie that even with Reva
playing "drama queen" she hasn't 
affected the prig/mutton LOWHAD.
She exits, with hugs and kisses.

Bauer Cabin:
We see what Ross has written on his legal pad:
Why can't she trust me?
Why can't she trust US?
What the hell has happened to our marriage, the
hapless Ross wonders. [Um, Amandaconda?]
Knock, knock. It isn't Avon calling, but Fifi
herself. When Ross answers, she tells him that 
she had to come, she couldn't let this go on.

Marler Mansion:
Blake finds a left-over cig from Di's tenure, but 
is saved by seeing their wedding pix  and claims
she won't let the she-devil make her self-destruct.
Matt  arrives and Blake launches into a Fifi rant.
She tells Matt that everytime she tries to get Ross
to see Amandaconda for what she is, she ends up
looking like a stupid insecure jerk. Matt wants to 
help her prove that Mandy set up the shack thing
as part of her plan to  break Bloss up.

Amandaconda Slimes her Way In:
The temptress enters. Ross does have the
presence of mind to wonder how she found him.
He doesn't seem to be perturbed that she overheard
his conversation with Ed. She claims she wants to 
make everything better. Ross plays Martha Stewart
and offers her libations. Mandy rehashes the details
of her play for Ross, but he tells her she has already
apologized. Mandy points out that it made Blake crazy.
Fifi works Ross up about the construction shack incident
while supposedly making excuses for dear Blake. 
[Interesting sidelight: Behind Ross' head we see a
painting of the lighthouse. Who did it, and how long 
has it been there?]
Ross points out that this is now a matter between him and
Blake and tries to get the slimy one to leave. She sighs,
and Ross wonders if she is O.K. 
Mandy replies, "I don't think I'll ever be all right again."

Rick's Ranchero:
Rick bites a bit and wonders why Josh enlisted Hawk's
help.  Hawk brags and tells him how he lured Reva to 
Cross Creek by making her think HB was there. 
Rick: "Why would Josh shanghai Reva to CC?"
Hawk thinks it's because he couldn't lie to himself
anymore. Even when Jeva are fighting like cats and
dogs, the sparks are there. Hawk dials Cross Creek.

Jeva get honest at Cross Creek :
Josh is on a roll about what CC signifies to them. They
were always honest there: to each other and themselves.
He wonders if they can't get through one sentence 
without wanting to kill each other. Reva complains that 
the last time she thought they were making progress, Josh
took out a restraining order. Josh says he fell for her
lonely pitiful act, but "the whole time you were 
supposed to be alone, you were sleeping with
Alanspaulding." The phone rings, and when Josh
answers, Rick hears Reva in the background. He hangs up.

Half-Time

Truth or Consequences continued:
When Reva presses Josh on his feelings about 
her seeing Alan, he falls back on acting in the 
best interests of Marah and Shayne. 
Reva: "You gave yourself away. This is the first
honest thing you've said since we got to this place."
Reva defends Alan, who accepted her and was glad
that she was alive. She points out that she gave birth
to their son here, and "you asked me if you could name
him after my family, and now you bring me here to make
me agree to let you take him away from me. I thought
I was the one with amnesia, but you're the one who
forgot."
[You go, Reva. This is what I have been yelling at
my TV for weeks. It is unnatural that Josh would 
have so little interest in what happened to Rev during
those five years even if she wasn't supposed to be the
love of his life. And how long has he know Mutton: six
months?]

Apt. 4G: The Mutton Woman:
Annie flips though a magazine, picks up the phone and 
calls Mary. She pumps her for info about Josh.
Knock, knock. She runs to the door thinking it's
Josh, and is gap mawed to find Rick.

Blake and her Knight follow the grail on Fifi:
Matt tells Blake the shack thing is fishy. He found
a screw gun, and the hinges on the door are 
scratched. They both saw Fifi's cell phone at
the hospital. He also knows she was out with Di
late last night drinking. Blake wants to go to the
cabin and tell Ross, but Matt says men hate it 
when woman don't listen to them. If she goes
up there, she'll blow it. Matt thinks Fifi is still
hospitalized. When he learns she's been sprung,
he tells Blake he has warned her to stay away
from Ross. Blake wonders what Matt has on her.
Matt promises to check in on her in the A.M.
After Matt exits, Blake takes off since "a woman's
gotta do what a woman's gotta do."
    
Amandaconda moves in on Ross:
Martha (I mean Ross) is passing out coffee in
green mugs. Amanda launches into a self-
pitying rant about herself as the "great 
destroyer." She drives away those whose love
she wants most: her father, Ross... A clueless
Ross incredulously wonders if she wants
his love. She answers a quiet yes.

Rick is a Glutton for Mutton:
Annie tries to brush off Rick at the door. Rick
wonders if she knows where Josh is. Annie tells
him it is none of his business. The bug-eyed, 
gap-mawed one practically slams the door in 
Rick's face.  Rick goes down memory lane about
what has happened since Reva's resurrection.
He says, "I am not going to stand by and watch
THAT MAN hurt you ever again. Josh and Reva
are at Cross Creek. That's where he went tonight,
Annie." Annie claims Rick's lying . She launches
into her get-out-you-lying-cur mode that she seems
to reserve only for Rick. She accuses him of getting 
her upset hoping that she'd fall in the sack with him. 
Rick tells her that he has called Cross Creek, and one 
way or the other she is going to know THE TRUTH ABOUT
THAT MAN.

I've Been Taken Over By Aliens Cabin:
Ross is speechless. Amanda wants a love that
values and respects her. She talks about how
bad LA was. Ross can't understand how this
happened, since she left S'field strong and
sure. [It's called recasting, and Evil McT 
ignoring of everything that ever was in S'field] 
Fifi claims she was close to suicide 
when she got Alan's shares. She tells 
Ross that when she looks in his eyes, she
is a valued person.

Matt/Van Boudoir:
Matt is doffing his jacket, and Van comes out in
her robe. He kisses her and carries her to the
bed.

Bodysnatcher Cabin:
Amandaconda tries to tell Ross (or is it Howie or Podperson) 
the ugly details but he doesn't want to know. Her bad times are
over and done with. Ross/Howie/Podperson kisses Madamaconda.
Your cue, Blake.

Honest Jeva at CC:
Josh tells Reva that he is sorry, he didn't want to hurt her
again.  Reva says all she wanted and prayed for was that he
would be glad that she was alive. Josh moves closer, murmurs
he is sorry, and caresses her head.

Apt. 4G:
Rick again tells Annie he wants her to see THAT MAN
for what he is and to finally know the truth. 
Annie: "I believe you. They're making mad passionate
love as we speak. Are you happy? Did you get what 
you came for? I don't understand why all of a sudden ..."
Rick: "I love you.  I love you with all my heart. I always
have."  Rick tells the Mutton what we've all known for months,
and if she weren't so self-centered she would know it
too.  Freeze frame on the bug-eyed, gaped mawed one, gaping and
bugging more than usual if possible, like this is a news flash.

FINIS

Written by: Jeanne Glynn
Directed by: John M. O'Connell
     *
    /|\
   /-O-\           Margaret Snyder
  /\ | /\          Hoover Institution
 o=======o         Stanford University
  | G L |          Palo Alto, CA
  | u i |          (Hometown of Charles Jay Hammer,
  | i g |           a.k.a Fletcher Reade)
  | d h |
  | i t |          email:msnyder@leland.stanford.edu
  | n   |
  | g   |


